I Had the Right Family

Am heading off to a family reunion in a month or so which ties in rather nicely with a chapter that I read in Randy Pausch's 'The Last Lecture', the title of the chapter was 'I Had the Right Parents'. I often see articles, books and hear comments about all the way parents fail their children, about all the things they did wrong that people carry into adulthood and throughout their lives, but I seldom see / hear things about all the things they did right, all the good things that parents did that made us into the people we are today. Randy's chapter focused on how great his parents were and what a difference they made to the person he turned out to be. I think as children we're all too ready to focus on all the negatives, the things that didn't go exactly right or the things our parents didn't phrase correctly and we forget about all the things they did right.

Like Randy, I had the right parents, I had great parents! Did they do everything right? Nope. Did we clash? All . the . time. Do I think less of them because we disagreed and each said stupid things while growing up? Not at all. I could focus on the negative things, but actually what I received from my parents was so wonderful, why would I?

Without them, I would not be the person I am today. I would not have the drive, determination, positive attitude and ability to solve problems. I would not have the focus on family and caring for relationships. There would not be that determination to figure out something for myself, the self-learning ability, the tenacity or that strong independence. All those things and much more came from my parents. Those things were the best gift any parents could give a child.

I also had / have a great family. Siblings who are great people, smart and funny and fun to be with, people who I look forward to spending time with and who challenge me to think in all kinds of new ways. Do we squabble and fight? Sure, but not so much as we did when we were kids! Here again, I could just focus in on where they're not so great, but why do that when there are so many areas where they are! They also had a huge impact on the person I am today.

Relatives are fun, smart, quirky, interesting, nosy, boisterous and many other adjectives I can't think of right now. Many are out and out characters who provide anecdotes and stories that live on from year to year and generation to generation. They help to form who we are, even the ones who annoy the heck out of us and I think sometimes, as we go about our very separate lives, we forget the value of family - family becomes just one more annoyance, one more irritant, one more obligation.

Like everything else in this world, it's all in how you look at it - families are a trial or they're a treasure - I'm choosing the latter. So unlike many who dread spending time with the relatives during the holiday season, or at my upcoming family reunion, I'm looking forward to seeing my family, they've helped to make me who I am.