There's Probably a Reason...

Steve and I had stopped for a breather and some lunch while tandeming through Yorkshire.  It was a gorgeous sunny day and we were relaxing, talking and enjoying the view.  A guy on a bike (Bike Guy) pedaled by and then swung around for a chat.

 

We exchanged a few details, talked about our routes and checked out the mileage on the map.  Bike Guy was doing 40-60 miles by himself covering a similar route to ours, but going quite a bit further.  He asked about the tandem and we answered, I commented it was nice to be able to talk while we were on the bike.  His response, "That's not always such a good thing."

 

Interesting though, he was the one riding out there alone...

 

I find this a very interesting perspective, having encountered it now in bicycling and quite frequently previously in motorbiking, guys out there by themselves.  Now some just like to go on their own, but on many a motorbiking trip, the riders will comment that their wives / girlfriends won't come out on the bike with them and they wish they would.  But then when they hear we have an intercom, they'll come out with some comment like, "Oh, I wouldn't want that, then I have to listen to what she's saying." 

 

Now maybe they don't really want their wives / girlfriends to come along, but some truly do seem to wish that they would and can't figure out why they won't or why they used to, but don't anymore.  "Ever sat on the back of a sports bike?" I ask.  "No, never," is the response every single time.  Let me tell you about sitting on the back of a sports bike - put on 30 pounds of hot, uncomfortable leather gear, sit on the back of a rocket with your knees around your ears and nothing to hold onto except a little bar BEHIND you, pull down the lid of your helmet and sit in your hot sticky gear riding at 80-100 miles an hour with only the engine to listen to for 17 DAYS STRAIGHT!   Woohoo, yipee, that's any woman's idea of a fantastic time.  And the rider won't change the bike, the seat, the speed or the sound system (or lack thereof) - it's funny that we search all of our lives for that special someone to be with, but then we're unwilling to adjust in the slightest way to provide a good experience for our partner, and then we wonder why our partner doesn't want come along.

 

There's probably a reason why he's riding alone...

 

Steve has a slightly different approach, he spent a long time waiting for someone to do these things with so he puts an effort into making them fun for both of us.  He gets to do what he likes to do and he has the company that he wants while doing it.  It must be working.  I'm not a biker chick, but we've now done 30,000 miles on the motorbike.  I've never been into any form of exercise, but we've done 300 or 400 on the tandem (only got it a month ago!). 

 

It's a different approach than most and one that requires some changes, note that I didn't say compromise.  It's not about downgrading his experience until I'm happy, it's exploring all the options until one appears that works great for both of us.  When we got married, we knew we wanted to spend a significant number of our 750,000 Hours together - that's kind of the point of being married, isn't it?

 

And funnily enough, he's not out there riding alone!