Old Habits Die Hard

Had a very interesting discussion this morning on the topic of 'What do I
miss?' One of the things we didn't realise is what an adjustment all of
this would be for Steve although in hindsight (which is always the best
sight) perhaps we should have. The first major life 'adjustment' was coming
out of a job, a big one - that by all by itself one heck of a change. On
top of that we've moved to America, a whole new country, which again is a
fairly significant life change. But let's add in one more, let's make him
Captain of a sailboat responsible for our 'house' and our lives. Many would
have lost it after that first change. Added all together, it's not
surprising we were having a 'what I miss' discussion.

This is a funny area because sailing (or this time out of the fray period
that we're having, but for simplicity's sake let's call it sailing) changes
you. We talked about a lot of things that we miss, but here's where the
sailing changes you - for almost every thing that we missed we had
additional thinking about it which caused us to realise that actually when
analysed we didn't miss that particular thing at all. There are habits,
ways of acting, thinking and reacting, that cause us to miss certain things.
(It's like smoking, 20 years after quiting there's no way you'd ever pick up
another cigarette, but now and then your fingers twitch.)

For me, those things that I miss are going out to a nice restaurant whenever
the whim strikes. But this sailing thing has changed me, because when I get
that yen a follow-on thought arises, "Yes, I'd like to go out, but where and
what would they have that I like to eat? Is there anything that I would
order that I couldn't make here?" Usually the answer is no, unless it's
shellfish, but then I'm not willing to pay the utterly ridiculous price they
charge for a shellfish dinner (I think when lobster is going for 5-6 a
pound, it should not be 30-40 in a restaurant) - the cost exceeds my
personal price tolerance threshold and I'm just not going to spend that
amount of money on that (actually for the prices they charge for lobster
dinners, we could watch the airfares and take a flight to Maine to see Mom
and Dad for the weekend and buy lobster from Solak for a similar amount!).

So the first one, eating out, I miss, but when I look at it I don't really,
it's just an old habit, a twitch. The next one is shopping. Whenever you
get a bit low, a tiny bit bored, don't you want to go shopping? That flits
through my mind when I'm missing things, but again the sailing is changing
me because the very next thought is, "What would you buy?" Clothes? I've
got at least one of everything that I like (I do not have at least one of
everything the advertisers would like me to have and have no intention of
doing so). Are there other pretty things out there? Of course, but that
doesn't mean I need them. More shoes? I spend 90% of my time barefoot.
Handbags? They're not waterproof. Jewelry? I wear the same pieces every
day and don't change even with the stuff I have already (and I can't wear
jewelry in the water because barracudas like sparkly things and will bite
you). Cars? Not interested, getting rid of the ones we have. So would I
shop for anything? Well, I'll always shop for books, but otherwise
shopping, although there's a habitual residual desire, has lost its appeal.

We've spent so many years being incredibly focused on building careers and
working, those habits are ingrained. Those old habits die hard, but we're
working on gradually replacing them with new habits. Another funny thing is
all the time you're working, you think, "Oh, I wish had time to do (insert
get in shape, learn a language, play an instrument, do photo albums, write a
book, etc., here), but then when you have the time, what do you do? More of
what you did while working! (Also, surprisingly to us, we don't have as
much time as we thought we would - day-to-day living on a sailboat takes
longer - you dingy to land, you walk everywhere - this morning's pick up
laundry, do Internet and pick up a sandwich to ALL morning. On land, those
activities would take 15 minutes. But we still have quite a bit of time and
it's time to lose those old habits and replace them with new ones.) If
we're not doing that, what are we going to do? This is where the new habits
need to be formed and where yesterday's passione entry comes into play.
What are the things we love to do? We love the sailing and are looking
forward to doing more of the water-based things that were in the picture
when we started out. We love the time together. We're keeping busy and
enjoying the relaxation. We might even be still for long enough to think
about our passiones. However, we also need to get our backsides into gear
and start doing all the things we wanted to do.

Things that we miss habitually and even after second thoughts too, our
families, our friends and our bathtub!

Sailing changes you.